No Turning Back
by the-unwanted-daughter
Summary: There is more to Harleen Quinzel than a love sick girl who fell for a psychotic clown...why did she really fall for the Joker? Was it manipulation, or was it a mutual understanding between the two to start their mad love? (i own nothing!)
1. Chapter 1

"Close your eyes Harleen! Don't look!" my mother pleads with me. "Just don't watch baby, it will all be okay." the obvious pain in her voice made me cover my ears.

No matter how much she pleaded with me, I couldn't help but watch as my mother was violated right in front of my eyes by a dark haired monster…Her blue eyes filling up with tears, her blonde hair being ripped out of her head, and finally the horrifying man hovering above her broken and bloody form, not paying any attention to her cries, or to the horrified 8 year old behind him.

"Da-daddy …. Stop…stop! STOP" I screeched at him. The dark haired monster turned around while just zipping up his pants and moved towards me, dropping my mother in the process at his feet. She looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"Run Harleen! RUUUUUUN" she screamed at me. I turned on my heel and started for the door, but to avail, I was caught by my wrist in the hands of the devil.

He pressed his snarling face next to mine; it smelled of alcohol and cigarettes "You want Daddy to stop Harls? Is that what I'm hearing?" He shook me so hard I felt my teeth rattle. "Do you want Daddy to start paying little Harleen more attention? IS THAT IT? WELL NOW YOU'VE GOT IT LITTLE GIRL." He slapped me so hard across the face that I could taste the blood from my split lip. The monster unzipped his pants "come here little girl" he snarled

The last thing I could hear before I blacked out was my mother's high pitched screech "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

I jolted awake. "Holy shit…" my body was covered in sweat and tremors where working up my spine. Curling into the fetal position, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks…I can still smell the sweat coming off of my father…his slimy skin, the smell of alcohol…I shivered and looked at my alarm clock.

_'4:30am' _great, just fucking perfect. I sit up and stretch my stiff body, trying to wake up my sleeping body. I guess I should probably do something productive since I am not going back to sleep after my psychosis decides to dwell on horrible shit.

My room is tiny, but comforting. Its tall light green walls give one the feeling of peace and comfort, well at least that's what they taught us in class, well at least that's what I remember from when I actually went to class_._ I rolled my eyes. Ha! Gotham University…what a joke that was, anyone with a proper rack could get through the system and achieve high honors without actually turning anything in. It's not like I am stupid or anything, but I am horrible at keeping up with work, I passed every test I took honestly…it was just the papers and projects that I was lacking in, which my professors where eager to help with_. _I giggled. Today is my first day as an intern in Arkham Asylum, one of the most 'promising' places to work as a psychology student fresh out of Gotham University. My little green room was suddenly becoming too much, to suffocating. I walked outside to my small patio, and place a cigarette to my lips. While lighting it, I laugh at the thought of what my mother would say if she were still around, I wonder that if she could see how I've managed to get where I'm at would she hate me? the tiniest speck of shame was worming its way into my mind...but vanished when i remembered that she would never get to find out... that bastard made sure that she would never see her daughter successful...no matter how she got there. I crushed the filter between my lips. "IT ISN'T FUCKING FAIR" I yelled into the darkness. After my anger quieted a bit, I slumped against the glass door and slid down to the concrete. "Why does that fucking prick deserve to live? Why him?" At this point I wasn't sure if I was asking why did he get to live, or why my mother was stupid enough to stay with such an asshole. I smashed my cigarette out with more force than actually necessary and made my way to the bathroom to start my morning routine.


	2. Chapter 2

"Harleen, are you even listening to me?" Dr. Leland asked slightly irritated while tapping her fingers on the plastic table in the rec room. The florescent lights that were abundant in the hospital were giving me a headache, and really not helping with my sleep deprivation. I glanced up at the good Doctor. This once beautiful woman whose features have been eroded by the stress of her job stared at me intently. Her deep brown hair was lightly peppered with hints of grey, stopping just below her chin, accentuating her strong features. Her wide lips pursed, anticipating my answer. Her grey piercing eyes probing me, calculating my every move.

"Honestly Dr. Leland, I wasn't" I frowned. There was no use hiding it, this woman is one of the most well-known psychiatrists around, lying to her would just make me look like an asshole. "I'm sorry; I didn't get much sleep last night." I looked at my hands that held a red coffee mug with bargain coffee in it and shrugged. Here we go….the question everyone asks. She leaned back in her chair and put on a halfhearted smile.

"I could tell," looked at me fondly "I could also tell that you probably don't want to talk about this, I appreciate your honesty, however, Dr. Arkham and I will not tolerate slacking off." She gave me a stern look but softened when I nodded at her. "Now, back to what I was saying before. I have your file here with me and I am very impressed with your achievements. You must have worked really hard to get such a high score on your last paper." She looked at me over my file.

I glanced up and her nervous for a second, but quickly contained myself. "Yes, I did" I gave her my award winning smile, and I wasn't lying…I did work damn hard for that fucking grade. Every turn of a heel had my skirt flying just a little higher, every disgusting kiss after class paid off for it. "It was….difficult at times but perseverance paid off in the end." She nodded her head in approval and closed my file.

"Dr. Arkham was rather impressed with your school work, but we wanted to start you off with someone that would challenge you, but not too much to start off. " I nodded my head for her to continue. She cleared her throat and crossed her long legs, the nylon of her pantyhose making a zipping sound as she did. "We've assigned you to Pamela Isley, she's relatively calm and patient, but is very passionate about her cause. She often goes by the alias of Poison Ivy."

"Thank you Dr. Leland, I won't let you down" I stood up and took Dr. Leland's hand.

"Oh please, call me Joan." She smiled, her crow's feet wrinkling at the edges of her grey eyes, still searching me.

I smiled back at the woman in front of me "Thank you Joan, I look forward to working here." With that, I left the room to head to my office. I didn't plan on breaking the promise that I had made to Joan, I planned on making something of myself. This is the first time that I will actually be able to prove, not only to myself but to my father as well, that Harleen Quinzel can do something other than be someone's punching bag. The first time I will be able to say that I accomplished something honestly, without what that bastard calls my "god given talents". I opened my door and stepped inside my office. The walls were a light purple, another calming color, and my desk was a deep mahogany. Running my fingers over the desk I couldn't help but remember the last time I had seen a desk so beautiful.

"Now Harleen," my mother softly spoke to me while putting me back down on the soft carpeted floor "mommy has to go do some laundry, I want you to stay right here and wait till I'm finished." Her blue eyes lovingly staring into me. I hadn't noticed it then, but her face was thin and her cheek had a yellowing bruise on it from where my father had hit her the week before. I nodded and she left. Looking around the living room I realized that there was nothing for me to do, so as any curious child would do, I went looking around the house. If only I would have listened to my mother…maybe then things would have been okay…maybe I wouldn't have provoked him.

I toddled into his the dark haired monsters library. There were books on everywhere along with papers stacked upon the beautiful desk. Climbing up onto his chair to get a better look, I was unaware of the glaring monster stalking his prey. His hot breath on the back of my neck…his rough hands pulling me out of the room by my blonde pigtails, I knew that I was in trouble. "LILLIAN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE" he bellowed at my mother.

"What's wrong hone-"she looked at him holding my by my hair and swallowed "wh-what did she do?" he lips were trembling.

"This little rat was climbing around in my office Lillian ….WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING IN THERE? HUH?" he tossed me toward my mother

"I … I don't know honey…. I went to do some laundry and-"

"SO YOU ADMIT TO ME YOU WEREN'T WATCHING HER? IS THAT IT? GOD DAMMIT WOMAN! WHAT KIND OF UNFIT MOTHER ARE YOU?" my mother remained silent, but this only angered the monster further. CRACK! My mother landed beside me on the floor, blood gushing out of her nose and from the side of her mouth.

I hated the desk instantly…I flopped into my chair and put my head into my hands. "Maybe I should check myself into here myself." I mused, giggling at the thought of me behind the glass cells of Arkham Asylum. "Well Harleen…time to get ready for your first patient." I straightened my glasses and smoothed my hair back into my ballerina perfect bun at the nape of my neck.


	3. Chapter 3

I glance at the clock. 15 minutes left to this session and Pamela has actually answered my questions so far, not that any of them were extremely personal just yet, just the exchanging of pleasantries and asking her what she prefers to spend her time doing. I look at the striking woman sitting in front of me, and cannot help but stare. Her long red hair is pulled into a lose ponytail towards the base of her neck, her emerald green eyes are stunning. I don't think I have ever seen eyes that particular color before…they're captivating. Her plump lips are a light pink, but seem brighter due to the slight green hue that illuminates her skin. My eyes roam down to her curvy figure, even under the Arkham orange that all inmates are required to where you can tell that this woman has sinful curves. No wonder they wanted her to have a female psychiatrist, this woman could probably seduce a catholic priest! "Dr. Quinzel," she interrupted my thought process. "Are you going to keep checking me out, or are you going to ask me some more questions" she gave me a coy smile.

I blushed. I'm not a lesbian but I cannot deny that I have experimented in college, mostly to entertain friends that couldn't give a rat's ass about me, but the feeling was mutual so I can't really complain too much. "Ms. Isley, I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, but you are right." She smiled at me again and nodded for me to continue. "I've noticed throughout our session, you constantly avoid the topic of men. Why is that?"

Her body tensed and her fingers tightened into fists. "Men are chauvinistic pigs. They only care for themselves and they don't understand that women are the backbone of the society. It's because of them that this beautiful planet is dying, because of them that people are often shocked to see a woman in a position of control and trust, instead of office aids and secretaries." She stated between clenched teeth. "You are a woman of respect Dr. Quinzel, but tell me something. You weren't expected to become much more than a nurse, or a housewife where you? Her green orbs staring into my baby blues, looking for an answer, and truth is, she was right…no one ever expected me to become anything more than a nurse or a wife. Actually through my college career I was often laughed at by my 'friends' for wanting to make something of myself.

I smiled up at her. "You're right, there is a harsh stereotype that women are pushed into, but I don't think that men deserve to be brutally murdered for men just being men, it's in their genes to be what they are." I giggled and looked down at my notes and scribbled some more information before glancing at the clock, and then back to Pamela. Her form was visibly more relaxed, and she was grinning at me. "I hate to leave this conversation on such a harsh note, but we are all out of time for the moment." I stood up and offered my hand to her. "It was very nice meeting you Ms. Isley"

She stood up and grabbed my hand "it's nice talking with you Dr. Quinzel; I have a feeling that we are going to get along very well."

The escorts opened my door and re-cuffed Ms. Isley before taking her back to her cell, shutting the door before walking away. I placed my throbbing head in my hands. Thank god that went well, I think I'm actually starting to get a hang of this. I yawned. Maybe if I just close my eyes for a few minutes this headache will go away….

"_HARLEEN QUINZEL! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" I glanced back at my father. Oh shit! I'm not supposed to be talking to boys….you know that Harleen….why can't you just do what you're told?_

_"I-I'm sorry Jack, I have to go…I'll see you around." I whispered, not really wanting to go , but I knew what was coming if I didn't Jack knew too…he knew everything._

_He smiled at me sadly. "Okay, Harley…I'll see ya around." _

_I walked away from him, from the only person who had ever given a damn about me, besides my mother. My second hand pants getting splashed with water from the puddles in the road, not that it would have made a difference. Everything about me screamed grime and neglect, from my dirty clothing, to my disheveled hair that was pulled back into two pigtails. Daddy always loved my pigtails…._

_Walking up to the front door of my house, I put my head down to stare at my dirty red converse. "Who were you talking to Harleen?" my father asked in a syrupy sweet voice._

_My legs trembled, my heart was pounding in my chest, my eyes started watering and my bottom lip began to tremble. "A fr-friend Daddy….that's all" I whimpered _

_"That's all?! THAT'S ALL?!" he pulled me through the front door and into the house. I stared at the linoleum floor. Shit….wrong answer. I peeked up at him, he was fuming. His face was beet red, his breath smelled of alcohol. "WHAT IS DADDY'S RULE ABOUT BOYS HARLEEN?" he sneered at me._

_"I'm…I'm not supposed to talk to the-"CRACK! My cheek started to throb, but I knew better than to cry…I knew better than to show weakness. _

_"THAT'S RIGHT YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHIT, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE 16 NOW DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN GO SLEEP AROUND YOU DUMB BITCH. YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN YOUR FUCKING MOTHER!" The monster threw me onto the floor. " .you .have .five .fucking .seconds . to .get .your .fat .ass .upstairs." he grabbed my face in his hand. "Go." _

_I was so busy running up the stairs I didn't notice my foot skipping a step as I slid all the way back down towards him. Oh god…I'm going to die. The monster picked me up by my pigtails and threw me against the banister. "What did I just say to you little girl?" he breathed down at me "did you think this was a game? Why don't we play a game?" he took his lighter out of his pocket and picked up his pocket knife, running the flame up and down the blade he looked at me. "if you utter one fucking word, im going to kill you…" he paused and his black orbs glared into mine. "you're mother wasn't very good at this game…" and he laughed. My heart was in my throat, I couldn't feel my arm, it was most likely broken, but at that moment the only thing I could focus on was his words. He killed mom? I thought he said that she was murdered by her lover who found out. My brain put the pieces together… HE WAS THE LOVER WHO FOUND OUT! I saw red as he leaned toward me with the knife. Just when his face was in reach, I kicked with all the pent up anger and hate that I had in my 16 years of life. The sickening crack of his nose let me know that I had hit my target. I jumped up, ignoring the pain from my bruises, and I ran out the door and down the street to the only safe haven that I knew; Jack's house._

"Dr. Quinzel?" a heavy knock on my door thankfully woke up from my slumber. I glanced at the clock, holy fuck! I have been asleep for 2 hours! I quickly stretched and made myself look presentable before getting up to answer the door.

"Oh, hello, what can I help you with?" I smiled at the confused Doctor hoping he wouldn't pick up on my sleepy state.

He glanced at me quickly, assessing me, the shrugged it off. "I'm just dropping by to introduce myself. My name is Mark, Mark Johnson." He thrust his hand forward. Mark was tall and very attractive. His dark hair was long enough to be pulled back into a ponytail and his eyes are the warmest shade of brown I had ever seen.

I smiled at him and took his hand, they were warm and calloused. "Hello, My name is Harleen, Harleen Quinzel, its very nice to meet you."

"I was actually wondering if you would like to go get a coffee with me since your shift just ended?" he smiled a nervous smile.

"I would love to Mark, just let me get my coat." I turned toward my coat and then closed down my office for the night.

Walking down the hallways of Arkham he and I chatted for a bit, I found out that he liked to play rugby, and that both of his parents were doctors, "what do your parents do Harleen?" he asked with a smile, but before I could even think of a lie to tell him, I was cut off by the most wonderful laugh I could have ever imagined. I glanced at the cell behind me and I was totally taken off guard by the green eyes that held me captive. Behind the glass, there was the most interesting man I had ever seen, his face was painted white and his emerald eyes were lined with heavy black face paint, but the most striking feature was his scarred smile.

"Hello Marky old boy…." He sneered in a sultry voice. "I see you've got a lovely new doll on your arm" he winked at me and my breath caught in my throat. This guy was interesting. He was weird, he was magnetic, he was terrifying, and he was my meal ticket to fame.

Mark smiled at me apologetically "I'm sorry Harleen, this is the Joker. Joker, this is Harleen Quinzel." He gestured toward me and I gave him my 100 watt smile.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Joker." I purred

He let out a high pitched cackle "Hiya Doc. Tell me, who's the lucky loony that you're keepin' your eye on?"

"Joker, I don't think that's an appropriate question to be asking Dr. Quinzel." He glanced at me "I'm sorry Harleen; let's just go out for coffee." He ushered me away from the Joker.

"I'll be seein' ya around Doc." He bellowed and I couldn't help but giggle. Oh yes Mr. Joker, if I can help it we will be seeing each other quite often…I'm not passing this up.


	4. Chapter 4

"Alright Harleen, you can do this." I whispered to myself while adjusting my black pencil skirt so that It was just an inch higher than was appropriate for an office setting and unbuttoning the top button of my white shirt. I knocked on the door and held my breath mentally repeating the conversation that I had been planning for the last month. 'Progress with Pamela has improved greatly; she is really showing signs of returning to modern society with a few more months of treatment, and I really believe that I'm ready for a greater challenge'…yeah…that sounds good.

The door opened and revealed an older gentleman, withered by long hours and sleepless nights. His hair was stark white and cut close to his head, but not considered a buzz cut, his hollow blue eyes were rimmed with bags that were a deep purple and looked even deeper due to his pale skin. This man was as bland and monochromatic as they come. Everything about him just reminded me of the color grey. "Hello Dr. Quinzel, what can I help you with?" he asked with fake curiosity, obviously not wanted to be troubled by my problems.

I smiled softly at him "Call me Harleen, and Dr. Arkham I just wanted to run an idea by you if I could." He invited me in, and motioned me to sit on a thick leather chair. Carefully crossing my legs so that my skirt hitched a little higher I began my speech. "Dr. Arkham, as you know progress with Pamela is going so well! With some hard work, she might actually be able to achieve her certificate of sanity." I smiled at him and leaned forward, just so there was enough cleavage showing. His eyes briefly looked toward my chest and then back at my face. YES! I'm getting to him! I stood up and walked over to his desk, seating myself on the corner of it I continued. "I think I would like a greater challenge, someone who has given the good doctors here more trouble that they're worth." I smirked at him as visible signs of sweat began to bead on his, now blushing, face.

"Uhm…who do you have in mind Harleen?" he stammered, his voice thick with lust.

I moved closer to him and crossed my legs again, giving them a longer look that was accentuated by my shiny black heels. I put my finger to my red lips, "hmm…maybe someone like Edward Nigma, Jonathan Crane," I glanced down at him "the Joker perhaps? "

His eyes went wide as he stood up. "Absolutely not the Joker, Harleen I don't think you understand just how dangerous he is!" he glanced back at me. "The guy is a complete lunatic!"

I smiled up at him and pulled him by his tie so he was standing between my legs, placing my lips next to his ear I purred. "Please Dr. Arkham? I promise I won't let you down."

He swallowed and closed his eyes, probably hoping I couldn't see the bulge that was forming in his pants. "Harleen, I'd rather you work your way up to him….maybe start with Crane first or Nigma?" he looked at me begging me to understand.

I pouted and looked up at him while rubbing my leg against his thigh. "You don't think I can do it, do you?" I sighed "I understand…I'll just be going then." I pushed him back from me and hopped off his desk moving to leave the office, before I reached the door he sighed obviously frustrated, sexually and mentally.

"Harleen, I have faith that you can, it's just that he's dangerous." He sighed. "Start sessions with Mr. Nigma, and if he shows signs of improvement within the next month…you may start sessions with the Joker."

I smiled at him "Thank you Dr. Arkham, I won't let you down." And with a wink I shut the door to his office. Hearing the audible sigh from beyond the door I smiled satisfied with my work.

….later…..

My intercom buzzed to life "Dr. Quinzel we're escorting Mr. Nigma to your office."

Sighing before pressing the button I replied "Thank you Jerry, just send him in when you get here." I can't believe that I have to work with Edward Nigma first. This is fucking ridiculous.

After a few minutes of impatient waiting, a tall, lean built man with red hair was ushered through my door. His hair was almost the color of fire; his eyes had a hit of playfulness to them, but obvious intelligence. On the left side of his face, there was a faint scar in the form of a question mark. Before speaking to him I scribbled notes into my notebook questioning his obsessive nature. Looking back up at him he offered me a smile causing the scarred cheek to bunch up around his eye. I returned the smile before addressing him. "Hello Mr. Nigma, my name is Dr. Harleen Quinzel."

"Hello Doctor, it's a pleasure to have such lovely company. You don't see many beautiful psychiatrists around here anymore." He winked. Oh just fantastic, Dr. Arkham gave me a flirt.

I smiled and nodded thanks at his complement. "Tell me Mr. Nigma-"

"Edward." He interrupted me.

"Edward, then." I looked at him. "I wanted to talk to you about your obsession with riddles. Why choose riddles? Why not something like Jokes, or something along that nature?"

He grimaced "riddles are complex questions and they take planning and genuine thought to create, unlike jokes where everyone can see the punch line a mile away" his fist balled in anger "I thought you'd be smarter than that Dr. Quinzel, but obviously intelligence isn't what got you your degree…"

I raised my eyebrows at him "what exactly are you implying Mr. Nigma?" I questioned him, narrowing my eyes I was daring him to finish his statement. "It was a simple question to figure out who you were Mr. Nigma. I perceive you as a very intelligent man who was most likely neglected as a small child, therefore causing him to rely on riddles and crossword puzzles to be his only aid." I glared at him "so who was it Mr. Nigma? Drunken Mommy or disinterested Daddy?"

A look of shock washed over his features before his face darkened "Excuse me, Dr. Quinzel, for insulting your intelligence. I did not mean to cause offense. Obviously, you are a very good psychiatrist." He glared at me. I don't know how long we sat there in silence before he smiled at me. "Would you like to know how I killed my last victim?" there was a devilish gleam in his eye as he spoke. I nodded for him to continue. "Riddle me this Dr. Quinzel. I drink the blood of the Earth, and the trees fear my roar, yet a man may hold me in his hands….what am I?"

I ponder this for a moment. Trees fear my roar, yet a man may hold me in his hands. I glance back up at him and smile. "a chainsaw?"

He claps his hands and smiles at me "Very good Doctor! You are intelligent, tis a pity that most women can't have beauty and brains like you" he stares over my body with a lustful glare.

I pretend to check the time "Mr. Nigma, I believe this session has to come to an end. Thank you for today, we shall continue tomorrow." I press the red button under my desk and 2 guards come to my office.

"I have another riddle Doctor," Mr. Nigma smiled a dark, knowing smile. "Who is blonde, bubbly, and obviously needs a harsh reminder that sometimes dealing with clowns isn't always fun?" he winked, and with that, Edward Nigma was escorted out of my office.


	5. Chapter 5

A hiccup escaped my lips, its 10 pm and I'm already drunk. I walk over to my calendar that's hanging on my refrigerator and check the date, yep July 24 a day that will forever be filled with drunken nights and horrible memories. I turn around and turn up my IPod dock as loud as it will go, Animal I have become by Three Days Grace comes on…."Oh how fitting!" I giggle "This hangover is gonna suck tomorrow" I bellow in a sing song voice. Stumbling through the kitchen and toward my liquor cabinet where I find my prize. "Mmmm Jack, Jim, and José, all my favorite men in one little room." I mused. After pouring myself a double I threw my heels onto the kitchen counter and raised my glass. "This is to you Jack…" I tossed the burning liquor down my throat, desperately trying to numb the empty feeling in my chest. The song changes and I scream at the top of my lungs "I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, WHY DO I LOVE YOU?" I run down the hallway with a bottle in my hand hitting every picture on the wall trying to drown the memories that I can't seem to forget. "I'm so sorry Jack, I'm so sorry." I whisper over and over again, hopelessly wishing that those stupid words will bring him back. Sliding down the wall I tuck my legs into my chest as the memories hit me like a fist.

_I run through his front door and he's sitting at his kitchen table writing. Looking up at me with his emerald eyes piercing my heart, a worried look on his features "Harley girl….are you okay?" he rushed over to me as I collapsed into his arms, sobbing on his misfits t-shirt. I didn't have to say anything to him, somehow…he just knew. "Shhh…Harley…it'll okay doll" is Brooklyn accent heavy while he was rubbing the back of my head. I looked up at him, silently thanking him, and clutched him even tighter. "Do ya need somewhere to stay?" he asked softly. I nodded into his chest and he hugged me even closer while picking me up bridal style and carrying me to the couch._

_"J-Jacky," I sniffled and whispered when he sat us both down._

_"Yes?" he whispered back while holding me on his lap._

_"I promise, I'll be outta ya hair first thing tomorrow" I promised while putting my face in his chest, my tears soaking his shirt. _

_I felt his chest rumble as he laughed. "You're not in my hair," he snickered "you're in my arms. I thought you'd know the difference."_

_I laughed at the silliness of it all as I fell asleep in his arms._

I stood up and walked into my room, the green walls starting to look more like puke than a relaxing color. I put the bottle to my lips and took a giant swig before crouching down to grab a box from under my bed. Opening the box, I look through all the pictures from photo booths we took together, pictures from prom, every love letter he wrote me, every rose he gave me. Tears are freely pouring down my face, staining them with mascara. Another memory flashes through my mind.

_"Come on Harley!" Jack laughs at me. "We're gonna be late!" _

_I giggle and put on the finishing touches to my makeup. "Alright cool ya jets will ya?" I laugh and run downstairs. My long red dress, given to me by Jack's mom, clings to my now curvy figure perfectly. I stand at the bottom of the steps and smile at him nervously. "Well, whatcha think?"_

_Jack looked like a gaping fish. "You...Uh…you…" he swallowed and I smiled. "Well…I guess it looks nice." I hit him with my purse and he laughed "Of course you look beautiful, you always do." _

_I blushed and let him escort me out the door._

I shoved the box back under the bed and threw back another swig of liquor. I stood up and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My mascara was running down my face, my lipstick smeared, a look that i'm all to familiar with. "You haven't changed at all Harleen, have you?" I threw my fist into the mirror and it cracked. "Ooo, a broken mirror for a broken girl." I giggled and ran into my bathroom, reaching under the counter I grabbed something that I could always rely on. It glittered in the florescent lighting. So beautifully sleek, but so dangerous. As I pressed it to my skin just enough to draw blood, I watched as the red stained my pale skin.

_I ran upstairs to Jack's room, breathing heavily, trying to fight off the pain at the back of my skull. "Jack!" I crashed through his door and collapsed on his floor. "He- he f-f-found m-me." I sobbed _

_"Oh god Harley….are you okay?!" he dropped what he was fiddling with and pulled me up in his arms. "What happened?"_

_"I don't know, but he said he's gonna to kill ya if I don't come home…I'm sorry Jack, I have to leave." I sobbed into him._

_"FUCK THAT! Ya can't go back! I…I'll hide ya! We have to do something! He'll kill ya!" he hugged me closer to him and I nodded. For a brief second I could see us running away somewhere far away…like Gotham or somewhere like that, but like all good things that happened to me…they were interrupted by __**him.**_

_A loud crash erupted from downstairs, followed by the screams of Jack's mother and gunshots. "Oh shit! Jack, I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. He put his hand over my mouth and motioned for me to go over to the window._

_Grabbing my face in his hands, with tears running down our faces he pressed his lips to mine and handed me a box. "I'm gonna put ya out the window, climb down the drain and run Harleen…run as fast as ya can. Don't look back." The tears were pouring down my face as he pressed his lips to mine again. "I love you." He whispered as he lowered me out of the window and I ran._

Standing up and moving into the living room I let the blood stain the carpet on the way. "I love you too Jack." I whispered. Anger was boiling over the edge as I keep repeating the words over and over again, gaining more and more volume. I gripped the bottle in my hand and threw it against the wall. The bottle shattered into a million pieces and sprayed all over the room, before I even had the chance to realize what I did, my world turned black and jack's face was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

The second day is always the hardest. I wake up from my dreamless sleep slowly, feeling each of my limbs as they are coming back to life. The sharp pain at the back of my head, probably from where I hit the ground, makes me feel as if I'm about to vomit and a dull sting in my wrist most likely needs to be taken care of. When I open my eyes I first see a blinding white light, followed by smaller white dots, and finally what appears to be the popcorn ceiling of my living room. I lift my throbbing wrist to eye level, the cut isn't too deep, but the feeling of shame cuts deeper than any knife could.

I rub my eyes and sit up slowly, surveying the room around me. There is a broken Jack Daniels bottle that appears to have been smashed against the wall, bits of glass everywhere, the couch disheveled, blood spots on the hideous carpet, and picture frames lying in the hallway. "Fan- fucking- tastic". I put my head in my hands and feel tears stinging my eyes. "Stop it Harleen," I whispered to myself "you had your time to mourn last night, now it's time to get off your ass and pick up the pieces." Finding some unknown will power I shoved myself off of the floor, only to be met with and overwhelming wave of vertigo. "Fuck!" I stumble backwards and catch myself against my Goodwill purchased couch. I hoist myself up, slowly this time, and make my way through the wrecked living room to my bathroom.

I glance up at my reflection in the mirror, I look like hell. My mascara making dark rings around my eyes, my red lipstick smeared up the sides of my cheeks, the Joker might even be impressed by my appearance. I giggle at the thought of it as I hop into the shower. Trying to pick out his features, his smile is known to be the most distracting thing about him, but I can't get over his eyes… they're so green, I'd bet they'd even rival Poison Ivy's. The dull ache in my head is being soothed by the hot water that's cascading around my figure. I've always loved the feeling of my hair being washed. After my father would leave my room, my mother would cradle me in her arms and bathe me, running her thin fingers through my hair to calm me down. I try to shake off the memory.

After my shower I glance at the clock. _11:00am. _I still have a few hours before I have to actually do anything, I sit down on my couch and pull out my notes on Edward Nigma. **_Obvious signs of neglect as a child, yet very intelligent, probably due to the fact that he wanted to impress his parent in hope that one day they would acknowledge him as something more than just a waste of space. Mr. Nigma must also continuously feel inadequate, causing him to be boastful and flirtatious. _**I sit back and ponder this for a while, wondering what it would have been like to have a neglectful parent instead of one that was always trying to be in your space…I stand up and walk outside, grabbing my pack of cigarettes from the counter and placing one to my lips. Maybe life would have been different…maybe…Jack would…NO! GOD DAMMIT HARLEEN! STOP IT. Jack is dead. He's been dead for a long time. It's time to stop dwelling on what could have happened and just try to make it through the next few hours. "It's going to be a long day." I whispered to no one in particular.

…Later…

My phone in my pocket took my attention away from The Daily Show. "Hello?"

"Harleen!" I was met by Joan's frantic cries "You have to get down here immediately!"

My headache was pounding and I had a nervous sensation in my stomach. "Why Joan, what's going on?"

"Dr. Arkham needs your help! I don't have much time to explain what happened, but you need to get here now!" ignoring the pain from my headache I stood up and threw my hoodie over my head, checking to make sure that the cut wouldn't show, and headed out for the asylum.


	7. Chapter 7

"Harleen! Thank God you're here!" Joan seized my arm in her firm grip. "Dr. Arkham needs you in his office right away!" As the strong woman ushers me through the long bleak hallway toward Dr. Arkham's office I can't help but notice the dread rolling off of her in waves. Seeing Joan this frantic disturbs me… Her peppered hair disheveled, her eyes glazed over giving me a hint that she had been crying but still trying to remain focused, her gnawing at her bottom lip showing signs of stress, the once composed doctor is now an emotional train wreck.

Opening the door to his grey office I noticed Dr. Arkham sitting at his desk, head in hands, obviously oblivious to the fact that I am in his office. I feel almost cruel staring at this man while he is trying to keep everything together and remain composed for the hospital's sake. I sit down and clear my throat "Dr. Arkham…" I begin "what is going on? Why did Joan say that you needed me here so quickly?" I pressed gently. The broken doctor glances up at me painstakingly slow; trying to quickly hid the broken emotions and stress behind a practiced mask of patients and reserve.

"Harleen… Dr. Johnson has been murdered along with three of our best nurses and one of your patients is currently in a vegetable like state…" he stares into my eyes waiting for some sort of response from me.

"Which patient?" I ask putting up my wall of professionalism, trying to remain composed. That's something Gotham University taught me, when something bad happens, its all part of the plan, nobody needs to lose their mind.

"Edward Nigma" he inhales and clears his throat. "Any hope for rehabilitation has been completely erased. The head trauma isn't permanent, but we have no idea what has happened internally. It might take years to get him back to where he can associate with anyone but Gotham's underbelly. We're afraid that he has regressed to where he was when we first got him here at Arkham." I put my head in my hands and rubbed my temples with frustration, absolutely fantastic just what I needed. I glance around the room and try to put my mask back in place. "Harleen..." He claims my attention once again" it was the Joker who did this..." I glance up and him in shock.

"What? Why? What happened?" I ask frantically trying to figure out why would he attack my patient and kill 4 people, and why would Dr. Arkham call me back to work just to tell me this?

"Apparently Mr. Nigma was making perverse comments about you." Dr. Arkham paused and calculated my reaction. When he saw that I wasn't going to reply, he continued. "Dr. Johnson was trying to stop him from slicing off his tongue and carving the phrase 'Not Yours' into Nigma's chest with a rusty pocket knife. He caught the Joker in time to save Mr. Nigma from any permanent damage, but unfortunately he caught the back swing of the Joker's knife." The good doctor looked into my eyes. "This is why I didn't want you to get involved with him. He's dangerous. He killed his doctor without even blinking an eye and 3 other nurses because they were in his way…laughing to whole time." he visibly shuddered and looked at me again and I slumped lower in my chair. "But, it seems that we have no choice Harleen. You are one of the best Psychiatrists in the whole goddamned asylum and the Joker seems to take a curious interest in you" he laughed a bitter laugh and ran his fingers through his thinning grey hair " If you can get him to open up to you, we might have a chance at curing him. Harleen, no one else will take his case, and company policy doesn't allow patients to go untreated." He paused "And if I remember correctly…you uh…asked me for this case a little while ago." I nodded and held my breath. He grabbed my hand in his and looked into my eyes, almost begging me to refuse like everyone else. "Please be careful."

"I won't let you down Dr. Arkham…when will I be able to start treatment?" he sighed and returned my hand back to me.

"We want to introduce you now, but treatment will begin when you return to work." He glanced at me "He's known to be quite the charmer when he wants to be…so watch out." With that he led me out of his office and down to Solitary Confinement.


	8. Chapter 8

_warning! this chapter contains sexual content_**_!_**

I heard his beautifully sadistic laughter before I saw him, the sound echoing off of the stark white walls beckoning me to him. I could barely contain my excitement as Dr. Arkham unlocked the padded cell he was contained in, I was finally going to get the chance to show people that I could do something, without fucking it up. When the doctor finally unlocked the door I was greeted by the excited chuckle of the Joker himself. He was wrapped up in an off white straight jacket that matched the padded walls surrounding him, his emerald locks disheveled on top of his head, his jagged smile mocking every feeling flowing through my body, and his eyes… the brilliant green piercing every nerve ending in my body. His magnetic pull amplified as he smiled at me "Hiya Doc, no need to thank me, any gentleman would have done it." he winked and cackled sending shivers up my spine.

I smiled my pearly whites at him and sat down across from him inside the cell, he giggled obviously amused that I would get so close to him only an hour after he killed 4 people and incapacitated my former patient, but I couldn't care less. My hangover was momentarily in the back of my mind, and I was completely focused on the intriguingly dangerous man in front of me, trying to absorb every little detail about his now naked face, hoping that I could find the secrets to unlocking his deranged mind. "Thank you, Mr. Joker for defending my honor, however I don't think that Dr. Johnson deserved to be in the cross fire." I looked at him sternly and adopted the Doctor/Patient attitude.

He smirked at me. "Oh yeah? Well if ya heard tha things that bastard has been sayin then I wouldn't be so sure Doc. Ya tend to hear a lotta bullshit that goes on when people think that they're safe on the other side of tha glass." His eyes changed from playful to deadly serious "and nobody talks about touchin what's mine. Nobody." He jaw tightened and he glared into my eyes

I raised my sculpted eyebrow "And you would consider me yours Mr. Joker?" I asked with amused interest. My baby blues piercing him, trying to pin point the vague sense of déjà vu that I was getting.

He smiled at me again and looked at me possessively, daring me to disagree with him "Yeah I do Doc, you'll see it soon." He leaned back against the padded wall and closed his eyes. "So who's tha new shrink that they're gonna hook me up with?"

"Me." I replied while standing up.

He sat up and opened his eyes, looking up at me while licking his lips, a nervous tick that he must have picked up, possibly from drug usage, and smiled. "I guess I'll be seein ya around then Doc." He winked

"I guess so Mr. Joker." I replied while stepping out of the door, locking it behind me. The only sound made in the hallway was light singing of the only inmate in solitary confinement, passing the time with the Misfits lyrics. "I'm sitting in the bedroom, where we used to sit and smoke cigarettes. Now I'm watching, watching you die"

….At home….

Arriving home after my trip to the Asylum I picked up his file and spread it across my bed. No name, no date of birth, no family, no….anything. "Where did this guy come from?" I flipped through the next 4 pages, all covered with crimes that he has committed since the Joker had first shown up, assault, battery, homicide on a spectacular level, kidnapping, larceny (theft), robbery (theft by force), burglary, arson, embezzlement, forgery, false pretenses, and receipt of stolen goods… I knew this guy had some issues but my god…this is ridiculous. My head was beginning to hurt again…I closed the file and tucked it safely in my brief case for tomorrow afternoon and walked over to my iPod doc putting on my Misfits playlist. The song Saturday Night began to play and I lie down and shut my eyes.

_"Jacky…I'm scared" I whispered in his ear as he was kissing my neck. My back was pressed against the backseat of his beat up Honda Accord, the Misfits playing in the background, his wet kisses going across my collarbone. We had lost our shirts somewhere in trip to the back and my breasts were on the verge of popping out of my red bra, but I didn't care, all I was concerned with was him. Everywhere his hands would touch left a trail of goose bumps and heat, his torso was flawless except for the tiny 'HQ' that was tattooed over his heart._

_He paused from his kissing and looked into my eyes and smiled pushing my blonde bangs out of my eyes "Do ya want me to stop baby?" I couldn't see any anger in his eyes, only love and his willingness to wait._

_"Nah baby, I'm just nervous" I breathed._

_He beamed and kissed my forehead "What are ya nervous about? We're two of a kind remember?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck and let him unhook my bra. My nipples hardened from his fingers brushing over them tenderly, the heat growing in my lower abdomen was driving me crazy. I put my mouth to his and moaned lightly, causing is hardness to grown against my bare leg. He lifted my plaid skirt and pulled my Calvin's down past my ankles. I reached down between my legs and found his zipper. Pushing his pants down just enough that I could hold him in my hand I heard a soft grunt in response. He leaned back and pulled a small foil packet, smiling awkwardly he opened the small square and pulled out the condom. After everything was in place I guided him down to me and he looked into my eyes, silently asking one last time if this is what I wanted. I nodded breathlessly and he bent down to kiss me, pushing himself inside slowly so I could get used to him. We both moaned into each other's mouth after a few more slow thrusts, I was used to his size inside me and my hips began to meet his, encouraging him to keep going faster. He gladly obliged and we were both peaking in no time. _

_"Jack…oh god…I'm..I'm gonna…."I moaned desperately pushing my hand against the foggy window trying to create more friction between us, my hips desperately meeting his every thrust._

_"Me too Harley girl…do you want me to pull-"_

_"No baby, keep going" I cried as he pumped faster and faster. I screamed first in ecstasy, my orgasm crashing around me like waves. His lips crushed mine as a deep guttural moan escaped him and he collapsed on top of me. I ran my fingers through his drenched hair, listening to our ragged breathing._

_"I love you Harls." He whispered to me. I paused, shocked at what he just said. I always knew that he did love me, but Jack was never one to say it. I couldn't help the tears that slid down my cheeks as I cupped his face and brought my lips to his_

_"I love you too Jack" _


	9. Chapter 9

Walking down the dimly lit hallway to my office I couldn't get the last session with the joker out of my mind. He was so intriguing. I have been working with him for 6 months, that's longer than anyone else in the whole god damned asylum, and I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere. He would always dance around the details that I needed, half answering questions, throwing them back into my face, then out of the blue he would recall a memory that I'd frantically write down, finally happy that he was giving me something to work with but at the last second, at the climax of the story he would stop and laugh his beautifully manic laughter causing me to throw a hissy fit. It was infuriating to say the least and I would end up going through a whole pack of cigarettes during my break… but the thing that irked me more than anything thing is that more often than not I'd be the one answering his questions, I'd be the one telling him my personal life, but I was going to get the answers today, and by any means necessary. "Good morning Harleen…" a menacing voice sent ice water skirting up my spine, stopped my wild train of thought dead in its tracks. I turned to look at the dark figure behind the glass. The jagged stubble on his chin was stretched into a hollow, gap-toothed smile that reminded me of a Jack-o-lantern, his long angular nose protruding out of his square, masculine face, and his eyes…the eyes that had taken pleasure in watching the innocent suffer, the eyes were always trying to reduced me to the shaking 8 year old that was afraid of her own shadow, were piercing my soul. "Did you miss me, little girl?" he hissed at me. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe… everything nerve ending in my body had gone numb, leaving me to look like a deer in headlights about to get hit by a semi-truck.

"H-hello M-Mr. Quinzel…" I managed to stutter. Holy shit, what the fuck is he doing here?!

He laughed a dark wheezing laugh "Is that all you have to say to the man who raised you?" his dark eyes never leaving mine, like a rabid dog, calculating my every move.

My tongue felt like it was filling up my throat but I had to pull myself together, I wasn't going to let him get to me again. Finding my resolve I straightened my lab coat and stood up a little taller "No." The venom leaking off of my words gave me the taste of metal in my mouth "I would also like to say FUCK YOU, YOU ABUSIVE ASSHOLE."

He smirked and his dark eyes filled with a seething hatred "Ooo Harleen thinks she can play with the big boys now that she has a lab coat? Tell me little girl…do they know how you got that lab coat?" he sneered. My whole body went rigid and I froze. Seeing my reaction he laughed "It was the only thing you were good at" he smiled.

Images of a little girl holding her teddy bear, wishing for death flew through my mind. I closed my eyes and through clenched teeth repeated what Jack and I used to rehearse every night. "You know what? I don't have the time for a conversation with a lowlife, and I don't have to take this shit from you anymore. Have a nice day Mr. Quinzel." I stared down at this monster behind the glass for a second more, sneering in disgust and started walking down the hall toward my office

"Looks like that little boyfriend you had was a good influence… but what would he say if he knew your dirty little secrets?" he started to laugh "You know the night I fucked him up, he begged for mercy…and kept repeating your name." He bellowed at me before I could turn the corner down the hallway.

My heart was in my throat but I kept walking, I wasn't going to let him get to me anymore, but as my office was in sight my resolve broke and I shot into a sprint and threw myself inside my office, slamming the door behind me. The hot tears were leaking down my face and I dissolved into body shaking sobs on the floor.

…3mins later…

_Knockknockknock_ "Dr. Quinzel…are you ready for your session with the Joker?" the voice of my soft spoken secretary asked gently. Shit! "Yes Heather!" replied while wiping my running make up and smoothing my disheveled appearance. "Send him in!" A loud buzzer alerted me to the opening door and I sat down at my desk and threw my mascara stained tissues into the waste bin beside my desk.

He was ushered in by two large orderlies grasping his straight jacket and throwing him, with a little more force than necessary, onto the large leather couch in front of my desk. I don't know if it was the way they threw him, or the fact that I was already having a bad day but I wasn't going to allow this. I narrowed my eyes at them "Thank you gentlemen, but I don't think throwing my patients into furniture is completely necessary, or part of your training. Would you like it if someone threw you into something while you have no way to fight back? I don't think so." I glanced back at the Joker, who seemed amused with my outburst and motioned for them to get the hell out of my office. With an apathetic shrug the giant apes left the room after handing me a panic button.

I sat down and rubbed my temples before my notebook. "Bad day Doc?" he asked with a smile.

I glared up at him "These sessions aren't about me, they're about you Mr. Joker." I reminded him.

"That never stopped you from talking before." He narrowed his eyes at me then relaxed and put up an evil smirk "I heard that a certain someone's daddy is locked up in the loony bin." He breathed "is that was has got ya all bothered? Why? Don't you think that the poor old pervert deserves it?" he laughed. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands again. "Or did daddy do something to you as a child?"

It was my turn to narrow my eyes "Mr. Joker, I'm not going to tell you again, if you would like to keep the only privileges you have, then you will stop making dangerous assumptions."

"Are you threating me Doc?" he asked with a dangerous glimmer in his eye. "Because that's not how we play the game." With that he shifted slightly in his jacket and inched forward on the couch.

"No Mr. Joker, I'm just letting you know that I'm not afraid to tell you to shut the hell up when you're getting on my nerves!" I screeched at him.

With one swift motion he threw the jacket off, pulled me out of the chair and slammed me against the wall. I began to tremble in his grasp "I wouldn't say that Harleen." he sneered in my face. "Who do you think you are telling me what to do?"

"I'm not the one in Arkham" I whispered

"Oh yeah? Well maybe you should be." He grabbed my wrist and pulled up my sleeve. "It looks like someone has self-harm issues to me…and daddy issues. Maybe I should tell Dr. Arkham, we could be roommates" He threw my wrist back to my side and grabbed my face in his hand, forcing me to look at him. His green eyes searching mine frantically trying to find something… he loosened his grip on my chin, chuckling as he did, but did not remove his hand.

I glared at him and spat in his face "You're not as funny as you think you are."

He scarred red lips smiled even wider, but made no move to wipe his face as his green eyes shined with rage "Not funny huh? Well do ya wanna know what is funny? The fact that you're trying to help me, when you can't even help yourself, open your eyes Harley girl…because you're just as crazy as I am. You're crazy for not getting revenge on that asshole."

My whole body went ridged…"W-what did you call me?" I asked in a shaky voice.

His emerald eyes shined with confusion and he frowned "Crazy?"

I swallowed and looked into his eyes. "N-no…you called me Harley girl…"

His eyes widened and he quickly moved away from me and sat on the couch rubbing his palms together between his knees. I moved to sit at my desk, putting my hands patiently on the top of it. "Would you like to know how I got my scars?" he asked quietly. This was it! This was the moment where I was supposed to pick up my pen and start writing frantically, but the mention of my nickname wouldn't let me move. With my mind completely focused on him I nodded to let him know I was listening. "It was July 24th. I was sitting in my room making something for my girlfriend, and waiting for her to get back." He glanced up at me and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. "I was making her a memory box. Something that she could look through when I was gone if something ever happened to me, you see…we lived in a pretty sketchy neighborhood where anything could happen to anyone at any time…so just in case, I wanted her to remember me." he swallowed "she came running up the stairs and she looked like hell…her father, this crazy lunatic, had found her and told her that he was going to kill me if she didn't come back home…I handed her the box, kissed her one last time and set her out the window…

_"I'm gonna put ya out the window, climb down the drain and run Harleen…run as fast as ya can. Don't look back."_

… She got away just as her dad walked up the stairs." He paused and I took in his features. The dark hair…the way his plump lips curved…and his eyes! Oh god how could I have not noticed before? I frantically nodded for him to continue while clutching my pen tightly in my hand. "He walked up to me and threw me against the wall. _'Where is she son'_ he asked me, I didn't open my mouth and he smiled at me. _'Why so serious Jacky boy?'_ he sneered _'you always had a joke to tell Harleen, am I not good enough for you boy? Why don't you tell me one now and I can really see if you're the funny kid she thinks you are?' _and slammed me against the wall. He picked up my exacto knife off of my bed and stuck the blade inside my mouth. '_Why don't we put a smile on your face?_'…"

My throat was dry, and I couldn't function properly. The man that saved my life, who I had come to love has been sitting in my office for 6 months and I've been to blind to see it. His humor was the same, even his mannerisms. "I'll spare you all the gory details, but he tortured me for days… leaving me for dead…promising me that he'd find her and do much worse to her…I called out her name, praying that she would run faster and escape." He swallowed…his voice thick with emotion "When I finally stitched myself up I began to see the funny side… she always said that she loved my smile." He looked at me and started laughing hysterically as tears we're leaking out of his eyes. "So tell me Harley girl….Do you like it?"

I stood up and ran over to the couch, throwing my arms around him…around Jack, my Jack…kissing his scarred lips. "I-I've missed ya" I whispered between sobs and kisses, letting my accent slip out.

"I've missed ya too Harley." He held me close, but as my luck would have it the door buzzed open, my secretary screamed and my clown prince was torn away from me once again.


	10. Chapter 10

People began filing into my office all at once, bumping into each other, checking my vitals, making sure that there were no signs of trauma. I was grabbed by two people and placed on the couch where I had just found my lost love moments ago. I looked up at the worried faces around me. Dr. Arkham's cold eyes were filled with concern, the wrinkles on his forehead puckered as if he were trying to figure out what happened. Joan's strong angular face was contorted with worry, her lips were moving but I couldn't hear any sound coming out of her mouth, I couldn't hear anything actually except for a tiny voice that was getting louder in the back of my mind telling me to run to him, and never leave him again.

Somewhere throughout the process of them talking I was picked up and escorted out of the room by an orderly that smelled of body odor and cigarettes. He grabbed me bridal style and carried me down the long florescent hallway, his heavy steps bouncing off of the tiles filling the space with the sharp crack of each boot, accompanied by the loud shrieks of pain and laughter that will forever reside in this place. His ashtray breath was caressing my face with its pungent odor. I looked up at his fat mug, it was covered with a light sheen of sweat, the tiny pulse that could be seen beating through the thin skin of his temple, was racing. The voice in my head was getting louder, filling my thoughts with horrific ideas. '_Come on Harley…you know you want to. Don't they all deserve it for taking him away?'_ I covered my ears and started whimpering '_it can't be all that bad…come on give it a go' _I glanced back up at the ugly man holding me in his arms. He was looking at me with concern, but not for me…for himself. We walked into the infirmary and he placed me down on the hard metal table. I brought my knees up to my chest and closed my eyes. The voices we're screaming at this point, begging me to do something, anything I could to get back to Jack. I covered my ears again and bit my bottom lip

"I've seen a lot of doctors come and go when dealing with him... If I were you, I'd feel lucky to be alive" I glared at the fat man across the room wondering what the hell he was talking about. He cleared his throat and looked me in the eye "I promise that sick son of a bitch will pay for what he's done-" his words were cut off by a sea of red, and pen shoved into his trachea. I looked down at my hands, my pale knuckles were covered in the ruby red liquid that was flowing freely from the small wound…its really amazing how so much blood could come from such a tiny hole. I stared at the dying man with no emotion, I felt nothing. No joy, no laughter, no remorse…just emptiness. The light left his eyes and with it I knew that Harleen Quinzel was gone as well.

Glancing around the room, I found a small sterile sink and washed all of the crimson off of my slender fingers. Watching as it circled into a tiny pink tinged whirlpool and went down the drain, I still felt nothing. The voice in my head jumping for joy, serenading me with shrieks of laughter, and yet I couldn't rejoice with her…something was missing.

I stripped off my lab coat and walked out the door that momentarily held the secret of what I've done. The clacking of my heels were the only thing that could be heard in the eerily quiet hallway. I looked at the faces behind the glass, and felt nothing. Nothing mattered…it was like they knew; they knew what I had just done…and I didn't care. Suddenly anger spiked throughout my whole being…it WAS their fault. They we're the one who took him away from me, they were the people who judged him for just being who he was, these so called doctors were the ones who mercilessly pointed fingers at the beautiful, laughing, broken man behind the glass…and they were all going to pay.

I rounded the hallway heading straight for my office. Standing by the coffee pot was my soft spoken assistant, Heather. Slowly, so I wouldn't attract attention, I took off my heels and grabbed the letter opener off of the desk and stalked behind her. Grabbing her tight red bun on the top of her head and pulled her backwards, exposing the tender flesh of her neck and dug the tip of the sleek blade into the pale skin. "Don't ya dare scream" I whispered. She nodded vigorously and closed her mouth. I smiled "Now there's a good girl." I pulled her hair tighter and turned her around so she was facing me, making sure to keep the point of the blade firmly against her neck. "Now, do ya know why I'm doin this?" I asked, the words oozing out like melted sugar.

"N-no." she sputtered out, her legs where shaking and I could see the fear in her eyes.

"No!" I giggled "let's think for a sec…did I ask for your help in my office?" I bent her backward over the edge of the counter. She shook her head no and I smiled "Did ya ask to see if my session was over before you opened the door?" she shook her head no again as I pressed the letter opener further, drawing tiny specks of blood "Ya know what they say Heather…three strikes and ya out…" I leaned into her pushing my nose into her frightened cheek. "And I'd say you've got one more…so if I was you I'd think real hard before answering yes or no" her eyes widened even further. "Why the FUCK did you scream?" her bottom lip quivered and she closed her eyes, trying to hide the tears that were already leaking down her freckled face. "Come on Heather…I'm waiting for an answer…and Harley isn't a patient girl…"

"I don't know…" she whispered obviously knowing that this was the wrong answer and started whimpering.

I pulled the letter opener off her neck slightly and the shaken girl visibly relaxed until I giggled "WRONG ANSWER!" I shrieked as I stabbed her in the neck. A sheet of red covered my face as I kept forcing the object through the now mutilated skin.

Finally feeling satisfied, I threw her lifeless body to the tile floor and watched as the red liquid puddled around my bare feet. I dipped my fingers into the mess and drew a smiley face onto the limp corpse and sighed. The voice in my head laughing and singing, begging me for more…and I'd gladly oblige.

I exited the room and walked down to the third door away from my office, the orderly rec room. Pulling my hair down from the disheveled bun, I arranged it around my face. Putting the letter opener behind my back, I ran into the rec room trying my best to look pathetic. The three men that were in the room were sitting around a small square folding table playing a card game. "H-help!" I yelled toward the disgusting buffoons. "Heather…she…she's…"

A large, burly man dropped the cards he was holding in his hands and looked at me, his dull brown eyes widening in shock taking in my appearance. "What happened to you?!" he rose from his seat and walked toward me, the other two men staring at me, waiting for the answer.

"A crazy lunatic killed Heather and now they're coming this way! I don't know what to do!" I yelled, faking the tears that were coming out of my baby blues.

The large ape grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in close to him. He smelled like old spice and shaving cream. "Don't worry…I won't let them hurt you." He promised.

My hand gripped the letter opener tighter as I put my free arm around his neck clutching him tighter to me. I put my lips next to his ear "and who's to stop them from hurting you?" I giggled as I shoved the letter opener into his stomach and pulled up. His brown eyes sparkled with betrayal and confusion as I smiled at him and pushed him off of me. One of the apes noticed what I had done and charged toward me. I moved toward the counter and grabbed the discarded coffee mug, hitting the orderly across the temple with enough force to knock him to the ground, and then repeatedly slamming the porcelain down on his nose. The other coming behind me, trying to pry me off of my main target. With the letter opener still in my fist I turned toward the offensive man and jammed the object into his eye, screaming "WAIT YOUR FUCKING TURN." He staggered backward in pain as I continued to crush the brunette apes head into the ground.

After I was finished with him, I stalked over to the broken man on the floor, giggling as I did so. "Now it's your turn." I glanced around the room to find something to kill him with…there was a spoon on the table, a can of dip beside it, three quarters, poker chips, and dental floss. Smiling to myself, I walked over and picked up the dental floss and skipped over to my victim. His good eye widening in terror as I approached, I began to unravel the rope floss until I got the appropriate length. "Now, i'm not gonna lie…this is going to be a first for both of us." I winked. I pulled the letter opener out of his eye and put it between my breasts for safe keeping and grabbed his bloody face. "Now, don't squirm." I wrapped the floss around his thick neck tightly 4 times, pulling the rope, i watched his face go purple. "My dentist always told me that flossing was supposed to be a good thing" I giggled. The purple faced man glared at me one last time before his eyes closed for the last time.

Leaving the room I glanced down the hallway and sprinted down the long, dimly lit corridor to the maximum security wing. The little voice urging me forward, keeping me moving, I reached for the ID card hanging around my neck and with a magical little swipe I opened the door, heading toward my prize.

There were two other people in his cell trying to sedate him, but he wasn't having any of it. He kicked the small doctor in the face, sending her flying back into the glass with a sharp crack. The taller male grabbed him and pinned him against the small, messy cot, trying to fight through the rib shattering blows that were being dealt to his core. The small doctor picked herself off of the floor and ran toward the orderly with the sedative in hand, but before she could administer the drug, my puddin slipped out of the orderly's grasp and stabbed the doctor repeatedly in the eye with a pencil that he had found in the mix of sheets. He turned toward the broken man on the ground a kicked him in the side for good measure. The sound of the snapping ribs, a symphony to my ears. He stared down at him laughing to himself before pulling the man on his knees, and with a beautiful cackle he twisted the man's neck and his lifeless body crumpled.

I slowly opened the door and stepped inside, walking over to my clown prince of crime. He glanced at me, breathing heavily, and pulled me close to him. His lips crashed onto mine as I put my fingers into his hair. His tongue probing my lips, demanding entrance which I gladly gave him, our mouths fighting for dominance as he pushed me against the stone wall of his cell continuously muttering the words "Harley Quinn".

I wrapped my legs around his lean torso as his hands claimed my body eliciting surprised moans from me as he did. I felt him smirk against my mouth as he pulled away and looked into my eyes. "Let's go visit Daddy Quinzel."


	11. Chapter 11

_sexual content later in this chapter!_

We carefully stalked toward the cell where my father was being held. In front of me I could hear Jack trying to hold in his laughter. His tall figure slinking through the darkness, ready for the kill that we've both been waiting for since we were in high school. I stopped beside a custodial closet and grabbed J's fingers in my bloodstained hand, checking the area around to make sure no orderlies were coming up on us. My anxiety levels were causing my heartbeat to pound in my ears, my hands were cold and clammy, and my breathing was starting to escalate…but I was determined to do this…if not for me, then for my mother and for my puddin. "J?" I breathed, careful to use a nickname instead of Jack.

He slowly turned around and looked me with his manic emerald eyes glistening under the dim florescent lights, and his scarred lips stretched into his signature smile "What is it Pooh?" he asked while pushing a blood soaked lock behind my ear. His fingers leaving an electric current throughout my whole body, but it wasn't his fingers that made me swallow my fears…It was that smile, the beautiful messed up smile that most people feared, let me know that I could do this. I gave him my most manic grin and giggled.

"Make sure he hurts baby." I whispered while leaning into his palm

He winked at me "Don't worry Harls...WE will." He giggled and produced a sledge hammer from the closet.

….

"Wakey wakey daddy." I sang while pushing him off of his cot. "Time to get up!" his dark eyes popped open as he crashed to the hard floor, looking confused, then pissed. I giggled and looked back at J who gave me a sinister smile.

The hideous monster glared at me "Just what do you think you're doing little girl?" he hissed, trying to pull his huge figure up off the dirty ground.

"Uh uh uuuuhh…" I tisked while slamming the hammer down on his fingers, causing him to howl and fall face down on the floor again. "Did I fuckin say ya could get up?" I sneered through clenched teeth. I place my hammer down on the side of his face and pushed lightly, causing his face to stay on the ground. "Now daddy-o, don't ya fuckin move until I say so." He nodded his head the best he could with the giant hammer placed on the side of his face. I leaned over and patted his head "Good Daddy…now, we're gonna play a game…" I took a lighter out of my pocket and sat criss cross on the floor in front of him. "Now, I remember how much ya said that ya loved to play this game with Mom...so I thought we could play it." I looked over to Jack "hey puddin…could I barrow a knife?"

He smiled and walked toward me "Sure Pooh" he cooed while passing me a small pocket knife and patting me on the head. "Now, play nice."

I looked back at the disgusting monster "Isn't he the greatest?" I grabbed him by his peppered locks and pulled him into a sitting position at the side of the bed.

The angry slits turned darker. I could feel the hate and rage flowing freely off of him in waves. "Oh, is little Harleen fucking patients now too?" he sneered and looked up at Jack "Sorry kid, but your little Harleen is nothing but a cheap whore, just like her mothe-" CRACK! Jack's foot connected with the front of his head and spray of blood shot out of his nose as his head snapped back against the mattress.

Jack laughed and squatted down beside me, grabbing my father's face in his hand" Did she tell ya that you could fuckin talk? I don't think so… and nobody calls Harley Quinn a whore, NOBODY." He punched him in the nose again. "Baby, make sure to make him bleed." His musical laughter erupted through the hallway.

I glared down at Daddy and started running the flame up and down the blade. "If you utter one fucking word, I'm going to kill you…do you understand me?" I grabbed his hair and pulled his head backwards, exposing the soft flesh of his neck. I pressed the hot metal to the base of his throat, hearing the sharp intake of breath I giggled and placed the blade to the side of his face until it went cool. "Wow you're good at this game" I watched the stinging tears run down my father's face as I started to reheat the knife until the tip was red. I slowly placed the fiery blade to his Adams apple and watched as the skin turned pick and began to break, pressing harder I let the warm red liquid run down the blade onto my fingers. I looked into his eyes, they were full of pain and anguish, but I knew that he wouldn't scream. Feeling the rage build up in my chest, I pressed the knife deeper into his throat and slammed my knee down on the hand that I had shattered earlier causing him to groan in pain. I smirked "Game over."

In between raspy breaths he whispered "You cheated…."

I smiled wider "oops." And slashed the knife clean across his throat, a sea of red covered my face as I kept stabbing him, over and over again, until his neck looked like hamburger meat. The hot tears running down my face were making it almost impossible to see, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. It was like an overwhelming force took over my body and no matter how much I wanted to; I couldn't stop the knife from coming down upon him over and over again. A ringing sound was pounding in my ears as I felt a large hand on my shoulder tightening its grip.

"Harley!" Jack's voice brought me out of my trance. I looked back at my broken angel, his eye were staring into mine, holding them captive. "It helps if ya laugh..." he smiled sadly at me, wiping the tears out of my eyes.

It started out as a little humorless chuckle, and steadily began growing into something more…something dangerous. I closed my eyes and threw back my head, letting all the pain, all the hurt disappear with laughter filling the empty wounds. Soon enough, the laughter settled and I was left sitting in Jack's arms. I looked into the beautiful face of my clown prince of crime and touched his scarred cheek "let's go home."

….later….

"Welcome home Ms. Quinn." He breathed against my temple, wrapping his arm around me as we walked toward the old abandoned firework factory that would be my future home. I giggled and leaned into him, letting him guide me through the maze of boxes and into the small kitchen like area. He took his arm from around me and put his hands in his pockets. "Uhm…well, this is it." He said looking around the small building. "The bathrooms, my study, and the…uh…bedroom is upstairs." He cleared his throat "The living room and stuff are through that door" he said gesturing toward a door behind me. "You're welcome to go anywhere you want. Just…make yourself comfortable." He put his hand behind his neck and looked into my eyes. I giggled; I haven't seen him this nervous since he tried asking me out for the first time.

I walked over to him and put my arms around his neck as his hands rested on my waist. "Jack?" I looked into his eyes and smiled while playing with the hair at his nape. He shivered and I saw goosebumps forming on the side of his neck

"Yes?" he whispered.

I put my palm to his face and began to trace his scars with the pad of my thumb, wiping the blood off of his cheek. He closed his eyes, pressed his face closer to my hand and inhaled deeply. "I-" I was cut off by his lips on mine. I tightened my fingers in his hair and pushed his mouth closer to mine, trying to touch every inch of him. His tongue probed my lips and I opened my mouth, the feeling of his cool tongue entering my hot mouth was causing every nerve in my body to catch on fire. His large hands slid from my waist, resting them for a moment on my bottom, before picking me up and pulling me toward him so I could wrap my legs around his lean torso, ripping a giant slit in my boring pencil skirt in the process.

He pulled away from the kiss and chuckled "What were you going to say?" he asked while pulling me closer to him.

I rolled my eyes "Oh forget it" I groaned before pulling his lips back to mine. This time our tongues fighting for dominance as he carried me to the bedroom. I felt his hardness growing against my thigh as my back was pressed against the bedroom door. With a hard kick the door opened and we collapsed against the large spring mattress. I pulled my mouth from his, trying to catch my breath. His assaulting kisses moved down toward my throat and across my collar bone, as his hands roamed up my legs, caressing my exposed thigh from the tear in my skirt. I ran my fingers down to the front of his body, unzipping the harsh orange jumpsuit that all the inmates were forced to wear, causing him to grunt and sit up pulling the zipper down faster. I smiled up at him and ran my fingers down his bare, scarred chest, teasing him by stopping just below his naval.

He groaned and looked down at me. His hands slid up my sides and rested on my breasts, teasing my hardened nipples as he leaned down and whispered in my ear "Harley…are ya fond of this top?" My heart beat was thundering in my ears as his hot breath tickled the side of my face. I shook my head no. "Good" he said before ripping the bland button down in half, sending buttons flying in all directions as I giggled and claimed his mouth once again. His hands slid down to my skirt and ripped the already torn fabric completely off. He looked down with wide eyes and started chuckling "Dr. Quinzel…you're not wearing underwear…"

I pushed my fingers down below the jumpsuit and held him in my hand, he groaned loudly. "It looks like you aren't either Mr. J" I laughed as I pulled the rest of his jumpsuit off of him. His mouth was on me once more, our tongues dancing together as he cupped my butt and flipped me on top of him, his hardness directly beneath where I wanted him was driving me crazy...but I wanted to try something...something that I'd never done to him before. I kissed his scarred lips down to his collar bone, across his chest, pausing just for a moment to kiss the small HQ that was tattooed there, slowly pushing myself down the length of his body until I was over his erect member. I looked into his wide, emerald, lust filled orbs as I circled the tip with my tongue and took the length of him into my mouth. I heard his strained breathing and felt his hands pushing my hair out of my face so he could see what I was doing. Bobbing my head up and down while dragging my fingernails along his inner thighs seemed to be getting to him as he threw his head back and sighed. I smirked and tightened my lips and cupped him in my hand. His breathing was getting faster and his hand tightened his grip in my hair. I looked into his eyes and took him deep into my throat and squeezed his balls lightly in my hand and started to hum. That got him, he twitched and let a strangled moan escape his lips as he filled my mouth with his sweet juice.

Sitting up I licked my lips and crawled up toward him, sliding my wetness up his thigh. He smiled and pinned my body underneath him. "My turn" he growled and began assaulting my sensitive flesh with his tongue. His fingers slid down my stomach, creating goosebumps, before they slowly inched into my hot core.

"Uhhhhhhhh Jaaaaayyy…" I moaned loudly. He chuckled as he pumped his fingers inside me, my toes began to curl and I began to pant. He slowly lowered his mouth to me and licked up my slit, causing my heart rate to accelerate. His name kept escaping my lips, like a long lost prayer. Noticing that I wasn't far off he began sucking harder, moving his fingers in a 'come here' motion, driving me over the edge. "Jaaaaackk" I screamed as my orgasm shook through my body. He brought his face to mine and caressed my cheek. I opened my legs wider for him as he placed himself between my thick thighs, his thumb tracing over the already tender flesh made me whimper. He slowly pushed himself inside me, pausing to look in my eyes making sure that he wasn't hurting me, and began to push himself deeper into me. His eyes never left mine as the heat between us began to grow, they wanted to capture everything, every emotion that went across my face, every sigh that escaped my lips, and every promise that lingered silently between us. The white hot fire that threatened to consume us was building even higher. "faster Mr. J…faster…" he gladly quickened the pace as little whimpers escaped my lips. I wrapped my legs around his hips and held on for dear life.

"Harley…." He grunted "im gonna…"

"me too" I squeaked. "keep going baby"

He grunted his response and pounded into me even harder than before, our eyes locked on each other, not allowing the other to miss this moment. I felt him throbbing inside me, knowing he was going to release soon he put his hands between my legs and rubbed me furiously. I gripped his back for dear life, letting drips of blood coat my fingers. "Harls..cum for me baby..." he whispered, and without a moments hesitation…I did. His release emptied into me and he collapsed. Our sweaty bodies tangled together, not bothering to move from the heat of our embrace.

"Harley?" he whispered after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes puddin?"

"Don't leave me…" his voice was thick with emotion as his arms tightened around my figure.

"Never." I whispered, tracing his scars as he cried into my chest. Even if I wanted to, I knew that I couldn't. I had let the madness take over…and I knew there was no turning back.


	12. Chapter 12

I woke up to the sound of a shower running and the grungy melody of Screeching Weasel. I closed my eyes and smiled, silently mouthing the words 'your name is tattooed on my heart and I'll always be true'. I sat up and stretched my limbs slowly, trying to remove all traces of sleep from them. Last night was perfect. I closed my eyes and thought back to the screams, the cries of people begging me not to end them, the control and satisfaction that holding their lives in my tiny palm could bring. I giggled and walked over to the small window. Why did it take this long for me to realize that life was more fun this way? The sun was just going down and the bright lights of Gotham city could be seen a few miles away, I wonder what J is gonna do tonight now that he's free.

A pair of pale arms circled around my waist, pulling me against their master. "Good to see you're awake" he whispered in my ear, slowly tracing patterns on my arms. "It's not every day that I see a beautiful woman standing naked in the middle of my room."

I turned toward him, staring at his paintless face. His green hair was sticking up in wet flicks around his forehead, and there was still some red paint covering his scars. I put my hand up to his lips and rubbed my thumb against the smudge "Well that's good." I giggled "Who knows…if you had another woman…I might just have to kill her." I grinned up at him and he pinched my cheek. Wrapping my arms around his torso I reached on my tiptoes and kissed him gently. His eyes illuminated with love, but quickly faded to sadness.

"Harls…we have something that we need to talk about." He pulled me over to the bed and handed me a sheet so I could cover my exposed body. He took my small hands in his "Baby, there are some….rules and precautions that we need to take." I nodded and looked into his eyes "Rule 1. You are mine. No one else's. Got it? I don't like sharing, and I won't share. If anyone ANYONE touches ya, ya tell me and I'll deal with them." He looked at me seeing if I got the message. "Rule 2. I don't care what nicknames ya call me, but ya cannot under any circumstances call me Jack, or refer to my past." His grip tightened slightly on my fingers, showing just how important this is to him.

I nodded "Anything for you…Mistah J"

He smiled "Good girl. Rule 3. If I say it, ya do it. No questions asked. Nothin. It's to keep ya safe, or help me out in one of my heists." I nodded showing I understood "Rule 4. My image is very important…I can't be seen coddling and fawning over ya. It could get ya killed out here… and that wouldn't be very fun. So if I push ya away…it's for ya own good. Rule 5. Keep up your persona everywhere…When you figure out your look, stick with it and let it become who ya are. Rule 6. I deliver the punchline." He looked into my eyes and smiled, caressing my knuckles with his thumb "I know it seems like a lot…but ya need to understand…this is who I am now."

I smiled and touched his face "I know puddin, and I'm not gonna lose ya again."

"Okay Harls there are only 3 more, rule 7. Have your phone on ya at all times. If I call, answer. Rule 8. Don't interfere with my business deals. If I go see Maroni, you can come with…but remain silent…any disrespect could throw off the whole deal. Rule 9…well this isn't really a rule…but it's more of a precaution…in order for the others to think that I don't care…I'm going to have to act like it. I'll call ya names and I'll toss ya around a bit…but baby…" he grabbed my cheeks in his hands "I don't mean it…just…go with it. Kay?" I nodded, not really liking that one…but anything he wanted…I'd do. "Rule 10….this is the most important rule of all…"he tightened his grip on my cheeks. It felt like the whole room froze in the last 3 seconds. "No one kills the Bat but me." his green orbs blazed manically as he stared into my eyes.

"Yes sir." I squeaked and he released my face. "Mistah J…?"

"Yes pumpkin?" he smiled at me. The pressure of the room instantly lifted.

"Uhm….I don't have any clothes…" my cheeks turned red and I giggled

"BAHAHHAHA Harley, you always knew how to make me laugh." He stood up and walked over to his dresser. "Here throw this on for now, oh and I gotta go in a few so could ya be a doll and fix me breakfast?" he tossed me a pair of high waist jean cut offs and a wrinkled sex pistols t-shirt. i looked at him and he shrugged "I kept them after you left..." he smiled "Lupe and Knuckles will be here later to keep ya company, let them take ya out for some clothing and to grab your stuff. Take only the bare minimum and I'll see ya later tonight."

Smiling I raced to put them on "Anything ya say Mistah J" I laughed and walked down to the small kitchen. Content with madness and the life that comes with it.


End file.
